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Freeing the Butterfly Chapter 1: Recognizing You're Stuck

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

Mandy Hale

Recognizing you’re stuck can be one of the most difficult things to do because it’s a sign that you need help. Many people see needing help as a sign of weakness, but it’s actually quite the opposite. By taking action and reading this book, you are making a commitment to yourself to live a happier life. You are telling yourself you are valuable and you are strong.

It’s okay to feel stuck. All butterflies must first be caterpillars, stuck on the ground, before they can spread their wings and fly. The important thing is that you recognize you are stuck and you’re willing to investigate ways of getting unstuck. 

When you are stuck in your life, you may experience a range of different emotions from feeling angry and triggered to not feeling much of anything at all, like you’re numb. It’s common to feel very alone and even abandoned when you’re stuck. A stuck person typically looks to other people to find happiness rather than discovering their own joy from within. It feels a bit like you’ve lost control of your own life.


When you’re stuck, your root and solar plexus chakras aren’t balanced. Remember, the root chakra is located at the base of your spine and is responsible for your safety, security, and self-preservation. Symptoms of not feeling safe and secure include feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and sadness. Physical symptoms of an unbalanced root chakra include lower back pain, constipation, diarrhea, and problems with the groin, hips, or legs.

The solar plexus chakra is all about personal power and self-esteem. When we look to other people to make us happy and we have low self-esteem, our solar plexus chakra is out of balance. An unbalanced solar plexus chakra can cause physical symptoms such as constipation, binge eating, acid reflux, weight issues, and even addiction. 

Yoga Pose

The root chakra helps us feel grounded so when it’s out of balance, we lack a sense of objectivity and the ability to see things the way they really are. When we’re grounded we feel more balanced and sensible.

The yoga pose we’ve chosen to help you feel more grounded and start getting unstuck is the thunderbolt pose. To get in the thunderbolt position, sit on your yoga mat in a kneeling position, legs hip-width apart, buttocks on your heels. Rest your hands comfortably on your thighs and lengthen the back of your neck by tucking in your chin.

Close your eyes or gaze at the floor, looking about three feet in front of you. Take a few deep breaths. Rest in this pose for as long as you need to. Concentrate on visualizing a connection to the earth and feeling safe and supported. The thunderbolt pose promotes security and peacefulness and improves posture and aligns your spine.


If you’ve never used affirmations before, it may feel a little weird saying them out loud at first. That’s totally normal. You can say them to yourself if that feels more comfortable.

  • I feel safe and secure.
  • I create my own happiness.
  • I am ready to feel happy.

Make a conscious effort to repeat these affirmations several times throughout the day. If your day is hectic, here are a few tips to help you get your affirmations in:

  • Say the affirmations before getting out of bed in the morning,
  • Set an alarm to remind yourself to say the affirmations,
  • Set a timer for five minutes and repeat the affirmations until the time is up,
  • Write the affirmations on sticky notes and post them on your mirror or anywhere else you will see them regularly, 
  • Write the affirmations over and over in your journal.


Sit in a comfortable position with your feet on the floor. Close your eyes and take three slow, deep breaths. Imagine your feet are growing roots and the roots are extending far into the center of the earth. Now imagine a read ball of light floating up to your root chakra. When it gets there, the light expands to surround you. 

Soak in the light for as long as you like. Now imagine the light entering your root chakra. Repeat the affirmation, “I am safe”, and feel the glowing red light filling your body with energy. The energy is there for you whenever you need it. Visualize the light shrinking into your root chakra. Be still and notice what comes to you. Simply observe. Don’t worry about trying to make sense of your thoughts. Let them come and go freely. 

When you’re ready, take a deep breath and open your eyes. You may feel like you need a drink of water or you may want to have your journal handy to take some notes about your experience. You should feel relaxed and calmer than before the meditation.

As an alternative to the visual meditation, you can color or doodle on the following pages. Grab the coloring page here.


Bloodstone is a great crystal to support the root chakra. You can hold it in your hand while you meditate, place it on your bedside table while you sleep, or just have it somewhere near you. Because bloodstone supports the root chakra you might also try putting it in a pocket that is near your root chakra for maximum benefits. 

This crystal is dark green with dark red spots resembling spots of blood which is where it gets its name. Bloodstone is great for grounding (connecting to the earth) and works to remove negative energy from the body. 

To support your solar plexus and encourage feelings of personal power and high self-esteem, we recommend working with citrine. Citrine is from the quartz family and is a beautiful yellow. Citrine is one of the crystals that is safe to use in the bath, so if you enjoy taking baths, try putting it in your bath and see how you feel. 

You can also use citrine in the same ways mentioned for bloodstone. Remember, your solar plexus chakra is located midway between the breast bone and the belly button so wearing it in your bra or as a necklace will provide great support for your solar plexus chakra.

Most crystals can be purchased inexpensively as a small stone, however, as mentioned in the introduction, if you don’t want to buy a lot of crystals, you can use clear quartz instead of any of the crystals we recommend. 

To use clear quartz instead of any other crystal, you must tell the clear quartz how you want it to help you. This is called programming your crystal. You can do this in your mind by visualizing what you want the crystal to do. We know if you’re not used to working with crystals, it can seem a bit silly to talk out loud to your crystal, but it really works! 

We recommend telling all your crystals what you want help with and asking them to guide you.

Essential Oils

Because the root chakra is closest to the earth, any earthy oil will be a great support. Frankincense is one we recommend. It comes from the Boswellia tree and has many healing properties like fighting inflammation, boosting immune system function, preventing signs of aging, and reducing stress and negative emotions. We recommend diffusing frankincense or diluting it with a carrier oil like coconut oil and rubbing it on your wrists. You can also try rubbing the diluted mixture on your hips to get closer to your root chakra.

Some oils to try for supporting the solar plexus are ginger and anything citrus. Ginger and citrus can both burn when used on the skin (even when diluted) so we recommend diffusing this oil. If you don’t have a diffuser, you can put a drop of oil on a cotton ball or mix a spray bottle with oil and water or rubbing alcohol.

Journal Prompt

For your releasing journal, write about the negative feelings you are experiencing the most right now. In this stage of feeling stuck, you are likely feeling abandoned, lonely, sad, angry, or just plain irritated. It’s also common to not really know what you’re feeling. That’s the numbness talking. It’s okay to write about not knowing how you feel or even just the first thing that comes to mind. 

Answer the question: How am I feeling about my life right now?

In your gratitude journal, remember to write down at least ten things you are thankful for today. If you want, you can focus on things that make you feel safe like nourishing food, a roof over your head, clean water to drink, etc. There are always things to be grateful for.


It’s okay to feel stuck. In fact, if you’re feeling stuck in your life, you should congratulate yourself for recognizing this. In this chapter, you learned that feeling stuck results in loneliness, abandonment, and loss of control over your own life. 

When the root chakra and solar plexus chakra aren’t balanced, they can contribute to feeling stuck. Practice the thunderbolt pose and feeling connected to the earth. Remember that you create your own happiness. Working with crystals like bloodstone and citrine, and using essential oils like frankincense and ginger can help your chakras while you get unstuck.

Action Step

Choose at least three of the tools above and use them every day. Bonus points if you use all the tools every day!

Celebrate that you have recognized that you are stuck and have taken the first step toward your healing. Do something nice for yourself that you enjoy. This can be something simple like indulging in a fancy coffee, taking a relaxing bath, or buying a new notebook.  

Purchase Freeing the Butterfly in our shop or at your favorite retailer to keep reading!

Freeing the Butterfly Chapter 1 Recognizing You're Stuck