How to Protect Your Energy During the Holiday Season

The holiday season is often described as magical, joyful, the most wonderful time of the year. But if you’re anything like me—or many of the women I talk to—there’s another side to this season that’s harder to talk about.

It’s the emotional labor. The sensory overload. The pressure to make everything special for everyone else while pretending you’re not completely exhausted. And in midlife, when your body and mind are already navigating change, that pressure can feel even heavier.

So what do you do when your calendar is full, your energy is low, and the guilt is creeping in? You protect your energy. Not because you’re selfish—but because you’ve finally realized your peace matters, too

Step 1: Tune Into Your Capacity (Not Just Your Calendar)

Your calendar says you’re free on Friday night. But your body says: Please, no.

In midlife, your capacity may be different than it used to be. Hormonal shifts, chronic stress, and emotional fatigue can leave you feeling depleted before the day even starts. And when you override that inner voice over and over, it can lead to anxiety, resentment, or even burnout.

Instead of asking, Do I have time for this? try asking:

Do I have the energy for this?
Do I have the emotional space?
Do I even want to?

A five-minute morning check-in can change the way you move through your entire day.

Step 2: Say No to Save Your Yeses

You don’t have to say yes to every invitation, every request, or every tradition—no matter how well-meaning.

Saying no creates space for the yeses that matter: the quiet moment with your child, the walk you promised yourself, the breath you didn’t know you needed.

Here are a few gentle ways to say no without guilt:

Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m keeping things really simple this year.
That sounds lovely, but I need some quiet time that day.
I won’t be able to make it, but I hope you have a wonderful time.

Protecting your peace doesn’t require an excuse. Your needs are reason enough.

Step 3: Create a Safe Inner Space

The holidays can be loud—socially, emotionally, and physically. Your nervous system wasn’t designed to be "on" all the time. Give it moments to reset by building in quiet, soothing rituals that ground you.

You don’t need an elaborate self-care routine. Even a few minutes can help:

Sit in your parked car with no music.
Step outside and breathe in the cold air.
Rest your hand on your chest and say, “I’m allowed to rest.”

For more ideas, try this Daily Nervous System Regulation Menu—it’s full of micro-moments that bring your body and mind back into balance.

Step 4: Choose Connection, Not Obligation

So many holiday traditions come with invisible weight:

We’ve always done it this way.
They’ll be disappointed if I don’t come.
I’ll just push through—it’s only once a year.

But if you’re saying yes out of obligation, it’s likely draining your energy, not replenishing it.

Ask yourself:

Am I doing this because I want to or because I feel I should?
Does this make me feel connected and present or overwhelmed and resentful?

It’s okay to let some traditions go. It’s okay to create new ones that fit your life now, not who you used to be. This season of life deserves rituals that nourish you, too.

Step 5: Let Go of the Guilt

Maybe you used to do it all. Maybe you still feel like you should. But here’s the truth: Guilt isn’t a sign you’ve done something wrong—it’s a sign you’re doing something different. Different doesn’t mean bad. It means growth.

Letting go of guilt is an act of nervous system regulation in itself. It tells your body: We are allowed to rest. We are allowed to choose differently now.

Try saying this out loud:

I honor my limits. I release the guilt. I deserve peace, too.

You Deserve a Holiday Season That Doesn’t Hurt

Protecting your energy isn’t about saying no to joy. Instead, try saying yes to peace, presence, and clarity. Give yourself permission to do the holidays in a way that actually feels good—not just looks good on the outside.

Small shifts matter. You don’t have to cancel everything. But you also don’t have to keep overextending yourself for the sake of tradition, appearances, or guilt.

This season, I hope you’ll choose what nourishes you. Because you are worth protecting—and your energy is sacred.

What About You?

How are you planning to protect your energy this holiday season? I’d love to hear in the comments.

Related posts you might enjoy:

Protect Your Energy During the Holiday Season